I... don't even know where to begin. It feels like everything is falling apart and theres nothing I can do about it. I'm stuck inbetween friends who I love to death but I don't know who or what to believe. And on top of that... I've wasted at least the past 2 months on something and have absolutely nothing to show for it. I wish nothing this past year had happened at all. I wish I was still the innocent, naive little girl I was. At least then I didn't get my heart broken.

Well, lets see. I've been back in school for a couple weeks now and its going pretty good. I'm sooo glad I'm finally a Senior, but school still sucks. Its only two weeks in and theres already drama with all the girls... but hopefully everyone will realize soon that its Senior year, and after this year most of that shit isn't gunna matter anymore.
I've also been working quite a bit, which is awesome. Most of the time we have so much fun there... except one of my bosses is kinda cracking down on us, but that never changed anything in the past so hopefully it won't now. And I'm sooo excited Andrea is working with me now!
Last weekend me and Emilie got trespassing tickets trying to go to the midget farm... which actually doesn't even exsist. It was definitely quite an experiance. We have court this week.. and I also have to go to court this week for a speeding ticket I got at work a couple weeks ago. I'm really not looking forward to paying those stupid things, but I guess it could be worse.
Yeah, I don't really know... nothing too exciting has happened lately.

Things have been pretty crazy lately. Wednesday me and Emilie woke up and got drunk at like 12:30 in the morning and went swimming and hung out at the Ranch House all day. And went into Anthony's a couple times, haha. And then we went and saw Danny. It was so crazy seeing him again, its just weird he's been gone for so long. We hung out with him and Chris for a little bit again this morning too. It sucks Emilie is grounded tonight or else we'd probably hang out with them again tonight, just like old times. Its weird though, he's turning himself in on Monday, so he'll be going to jail for about a year he thinks. That'll suck, but at least we got to see him before he leaves.
I decided that things with Cole just aren't going to work. I mean, I knew all along that in the end I'd just have to say goodbye, but I was hoping to just have fun while it lasted... but I also know I can't fuck everything else up for a little bit of fun. He's such a cute, sweet guy... and I love how he just makes me feel like I actually matter... but I know he also doesn't wanna get attached as much as I don't want to either. Hopefully we'll still be friends until he leaves though because I love hanging out with him, he's adorable.
And in the end, its better that I end things with that now so I'm not fucking Brenden over. I honestly didn't think that there was anything there... but he was so cute the other night! We're gunna take things slow so we don't fuck anything up. I love just being able to talk to him and hang out without there being any pressure or awkwardness... because thats usually how I get with guys. But not with him and its nice. The only problem is telling Brian... but thats his problem I guess.

So... I realized that I haven't written hardly anything this whole summer in here. This summer has gone by soooo fast! I haven't done nearly as many fun things as I would have hoped... but it actually has been going pretty good.
Work is... well, work. Its sweet that all my friends started working there, and that I made a lot of good friends there. But for working with all guys (besides Beth) it sure is one big drama fest. I swear... theres always something new going on with those guys. But, I still manage to find myself hanging out with them the majority of the time. The first part of the summer I did anyway. We had some pretty good times... going up to Megan's cabin (well, actually Pat's)... getting the cops called on us at my house... breaking into Megan's house and drinking. Stuff like that. Well that was with Chris and Andrew... lately I've been hanging out with Brenden more. He's freakin' crazy, and loud, haha but I don't know what I'd do without him! He's saved my ass at least once this summer.
If I'm not hanging out with work kids I'm off with Emilie and the Ranch House kids. They're pretty cool kids (well most of them). Especially Cole, I love that kid. Emilie's parents went out of town 4th of July weekend and we all went to her house and partied, it was so fun! Then a few nights ago there was this rave thing at Red Rocks they all went to... I didn't go but I went to the little "after party" at Dan's with Cole... which was fun. And lately me and Emilie have been getting up early and going to the pool with our sweet pool toys and getting tan (or sunburnt). I love our girl time!!!
Last weekend me and Megan went to Warped Tour together. That was a blast! We saw Clint, Chris, Adam and Andrew there for a little bit... but mostly we were off on our own... it was so fun! And I don't care what anyone says, Fall Out Boy rocks and I'm now in love with them. Haha. Oh and of course Gym Class Heroes... whoo!
A few nights ago I hung out with Anna, Amanda, Andrea and Lindsay. That was nice because I haven't seen any of them hardly at all this whole summer. Me and Lindsay were talking about last summer and how we went to the pool everyday and how much we miss that. Well, I miss it. But I still wouldn't trade some of the times I've had this summer for anything.
And now... I'm kinda stuck in a tough situation liking two totally great, but totally different guys. And I don't know what to do... especially because one is leaving for the Marines in a little less than a month. I really just wanna have fun with him while I can... but I don't wanna screw things up because the other one will still be around when Cole's not.

But yeah I dunno... thats been my summer. Hopefully I'll be updating a bit more from now on.

| `*Last Things*` ||
[last word you said] "Bye" to Emilie after she brought me Dairy Queen
[last song you sang] I Want To Save You by Something Corporate
[last thing you laughed at] I dunno me and Emilie laughing at her mom or how GAY Leo is
[last time you said 'I love you'] I dunno
[last time you cried] Last night... ouch!

|| `*Present*` ||
[what color socks are you wearing] not wearing any... I'm wearing a brown Ace bandage on one foot though
[current annoyance] Leo
[current longing] to feel better, a yummy smoothie... a boy
[current book] Choke
[current worry] my foot, work, Brian... ya know all that crap
[story behind your journal username] The nickname Anna gave me when I made the mistake of telling her some people can't pronounce my name right and say "Hurlie" instead of "Hillary"... crazy, I know
[current favorite article of clothing] My Care Bear p.j.s
[favorite place to be] Either in my bed, sleeping, or with all my bestest buddies :)
[least favorite place] Where I'm not welcome or where I fell just plain uncomfortable
[strong in mind or strong in body] I say both if possible
[time you wake up in the morning] Lately... like 11ish haha
[favorite color] Blue
[do you believe in an afterlife] Yup
[how tall are you] 5'10"ish
[favorite season] Summer
[one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to] I dunno, there are a lotta people I guess... I think like G, I miss him... or Sarah
[one person you wish was here right now] Haha, anyone... I'm feelin' kinda lonely.
[favorite day] Saturday or Sunday
[a random lyric] "To be hurt... To feel lost... To be left out in the dark... To be kicked when you're down... To feel like you've been pushed around... To be on the edge of breaking down and no ones there to save you... No you don't know what its like... Welcome to my life" The bad day song.. huh Emilie?

|| `*past*` ||
[kindergarten teacher's name] Mrs. Larsen
[first grade teacher's name?] Mrs. Goolsby -
[second grade teacher's name] Mrs.Lile/ Mrs. Brady - Second grade kicked ass man!
[third grade teacher's name] Mrs. Johnson - BITCH! The only think I liked was that she made Kristi Koemel cry
[fourth grade teacher's name] Mrs. Anderson
[fifth grade's teacher's name] Mrs. Fleskes - She had a crush on Elvis and Abe Lincoln when she was little

|| `*present*` ||
[in cd player] an old mix cuz Chris still has to make me a new one
[on feet] an Ace bandage :(
[under bed] not much... like a hat... a marker... some eyeliner
[what time you got up] 10:30ish
[time it is now] 10:12 p.m.

|| `*future*` ||
[you want to grow up to be] No idea
[ideal job] Don't know.
[probable job] Hm, I dunno
[you want to live (place)] I dunno, I used to want to live outta state, but Colorado's kinda growing on me
[number of children you want] Eventually 2 or 3
[kind of car] Escalade!!! Haha thats gangsta

|| `*current*` ||
[mood] Kinda pissed and annoyed
[music] Kelly Clarkson
[taste] nothin... I'm thirsty though
[hair] Up kinda crappy... too lazy to do anything else with it
[attire] ace bandage... shorts... tank top... its hot out
[desktop image] The background is blue bubbles
[fav. music artist] I dunno, it always changes... I'm likin Somethin Corporate and Dashboard hahahaha I'm lame
[fingernail color] None, my nails are pretty fucked up right now
[crush] ;) hehehe
[hate] LEO ugh

10 favorite movies (I don't really watch movies)
. Office Space
. 10 Things I Hate About You
. Freaky Friday (Hot Guy)
. Billy Madison
. Sweet Home Alabama
. Happy Gilmore
. Center Stage
. 2 Fast 2 Furious (Hot GuyZ)
. Oceans 11
. American Pie

9 things about you
. Tall
. Funny?
. Smart?
. I get scared REALLY easily
. Can't snap a towel? I dunno
. Weak kinda
. Weirdest tastes in music ever
. work at a pizza place
. i dont' know what else to say haha

8 people/things you care about the most
. my Emilie
. my Audrey
. my Bethie
. My Family
. My Friends
. My Laptop
. Memories
. Anthony's buddies (minus LEO)

7 favorite singers/groups
. Something Corporate
. Hanson (hahahaha Beth)
. Dashboard Confessional
. Outkast
. Jimmy Eat World
. Simple Plan
. I dunno all the crazy stuff I used to listen to

6 things you can't stand
. Girlie shit... which I know I'm a girl too but damn...
. "Little Kid Games"
. People with big mouths
. When people try and push stuff on you
. Being lonely
. Change

5 best things that have happened to you in the past year
. Emilie
. Beth
. as always... Audrey
. someone....
. QUITTING SONIC

4 favorite teevee shows currently on the air
. One Tree Hill
. Friends
. Gilmore Girls
. Real World? thats pretty much the only things I watch haha

3 favorite foods
. Cherry Garcia ice cream
. Something fruity....
. Twix

2 best moments in this year
. this one night with all my girls
. that one Saturday night with Emilie I think... actually there were a couple, but she knows which one I'm talking about

1 final thought
. What is meant to be will always find a way

RED
What is love? – I couldn't tell ya
Name 3 things you feel very passionate about: - God, Friendship, Family
Does fire fascinate you? – More like scare me... haha... jk
Do you have a short temper? – I dunno
Are you very warm hearted? – I think so..
Do you feel intense emotions? –Oh yeah

ORANGE
Are you bright? – I agree with Anna.... haha....brilliant, actually...smaht-ness..
Is vibrance a good characteristic to have? – Yeah, sure
Are you rich in self confidence? – Not really, but I'm getting better
Are you rich in vitamin c? – I wasn't until the past couple of days and my meals of vegetables and Ranch dressing! Haha.. jk, I really don't know if they have Vitamin C but we can pretend
Is lala orange your favorite rainbow bright character? – Nah, the doggie

YELLOW
Are you a very happy person? -Sometimes
Do you like the sun? - yeah I do
Do you ever feel utter and complete joy? – Right now? Definitely not.
Do you feel like the volume in your life is all the way up? – Are you asking if I"m loud or what?
Do you feel warm inside when you hug people? –Depends on whose hugging you...
If you were a carebear would you be cheer bear? – Maybe
Are you lemon scented? – No I'm Curve scented, lol

GREEN
Are you incredibly lucky? – Not really, no
Are you easy going? - I think so
Are you very mischievious? – Sometimes
Are you very lusty/sexy? – Hah! I don't think so
Ever find a four leafed clover? – Nope

BLUE
Do you love to look at water? – I like to be in water if that counts
Are you calm/relaxed? - For the most part
Is it very difficult to upset you? – Yeah
Are you at peace? – Sometimes, not right now really
Are you comforting? – I think so...
Are you well balanced? – No...? Yes...?
Are you content? - No I'm in pain and annoyed

PURPLE
Are you royalty? - Nah
Are you very free spirited? – Nah
Are you conceited? - Sometimes
Do you have a passion for indulgence? - Haha... well
Are you a grape? – Oh definetly **looks totally confused**

PINK
Are you less than intense? - Yeah
Are you incredibly feminine? - Not incredibly.. but yeah mostly...

BLACK
Do you absorb everything possible? - Yes, I am a walking sponge
Are you incredibly energetic? – Sometimes

GOLD
Are you expensive? - Yeah kinda
Are you worth it? – I hope so...

1. I hurt: My foot
2. I love: My buddies
3. I hate: LEO
4. I cry: When I jump off my roof like an idiot
5. I fear: Never finding myself/ hurting someone
6. I hope: That things will maybe work out???
7. I sadden: ???
8. I feel alone: Pretty much, yeah
9. I kill: Nothing but scawy spiders, haha
10. I talk: Too much at times, and not enough at others
11. I listen: Most of the time
12. I break: Um...
13. I see: The computer screen
14. I smell: Tea
15. I taste: Haven't licked myself lately so I dunno
16. I work: at Anthony's.
17. I remember: The Welcome To My Life days haha Em... cuz today felt like that.
18. I hold: A pillow haha
19. I hide: A lotta stuff... like beer cans!
20. I pray: Haven't recently. hmm...
21. I walk: well now I hop.
22. I drive: my car!!!! whoop.
23. I read: Choke
24. I burn: Candles
25. I breathe: try story. most people do in order to live.
26. I play: music
27. I miss: people ;)
28. I touch: uhh the keyboard?
29. I learned: not to jump off my roof.
30. I feel: annoyed.. in pain... pissed... lonely... ugh
31. I know: that I want food
32. I say: so
33. I dream: lol I have ODD dreams!
34. I have: eyes
35. I want: A boy to kiss in the rain
36. I fell: Hmmm.... odd question. I told my mom I fell last night!
37. I wait: For you.
38. I need: sleep
39. I live: in Colorado
40. I kiss: not boys in the rain :(

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | Scary movies
02 | Rejection
03 | I dunno haha spiders and creepy things
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH: [right now]
01 | Emilie
02 | Chris & Andrew (haha they'll count as one)
03 | Bethie
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
02 | All my friends
03 | Feeling like I matter in this crazy world
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | Girlieness
02 | Being Lonely
03 | Being scared, haha
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | Why some people continue doing things they are told not to do
02 | Why people waste the person they are trying to be someone they’re not
03 | Why I worry about any of this stupid CRAP!
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | Filling this out…STILL!
02 | Thinking
03 | Listening to my Dashboard song
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Go snowboarding
02 | Tell everyone I la-la-la-LOVE them
03 | Bungee Jump
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | 5 Push Ups.. haha!
02 | make Easy Mac
03 | Drive my car, to an extent
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | Happy
02 | Easily amused
03 | Easy going, maybe?
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | Sing
02 | Snowboard, or Ski cause I dunno how
03 | Snap a towel
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | The Jagged Edge c.d... which sounds good right now actually
02 | MEEEEEEE!
03 | Your mom
----------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | Anyways...
02 | Dude
03 | Nice
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | Water
02 | Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
03 | Sprite Remix
-----------------------------------------------------
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | Boy Meets World
02 | Full House
03 | Home Improvement
------------------------------------------------
A - Act your age? Most of the time haha
B - Born on what day of the week? I have NO idea
C - Chore you hate? Doing the dishes
D - Dad's name? Steve
E - Essential makeup item? Eyeliner
F - Favorite actor? Chad Michael Murray... HOTTIE!
G - Gold or silver? Silver
H - Hometown? Here
I - Instruments you play?Hah! Thats a good one
J - Job title? Cashier haha
K - Kids? Awe
L - Living arrangements? With my parents
M - Mom's name? Karen
N - Number of people you've slept with? 2... oops
O - Overnight hospital stays? Yuck
P - Phobia? Haha... that'd be one mighty long list
Q - Quote you like? "It will all be ok in the end. If its not ok, its not the end."
R - Religious affiliation? Catholic... most days.
S - Siblings? Nada
T - Time you wake up? Depends on what day it is
U - Unique habbit? putting barbeque sauce on my Hot N Spicy and then spreading it around with a French Fry... or that least Beth thinks thats weird lol
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat? Lima beans are sick
W - Worst habit? Biting my nails I guess
X - X-rays you've had? My mouth and my toe
Y - Yummy food you make? My Jell-O!!! and of course fries for Andrew at work
Z - Zodiac Sign? gemini

I AM: Here we go again... annoyed... tired... in pain... lonely... bored... hungry... the list keeps growing
I WANT: Mike's
I HAVE: Hunger lol
I WISH: I wasn’t so damn shy sometimes
I HATE: Being lonely
I MISS: Hehe
I FEAR: Rejection
I HEAR: Bryan Adams
I SEARCH: For answers
I WONDER: Why
I REGRET: Being so shy and not making things happen for myself
I LOVE: YOU
I ACHE: My foot hurts like a biotch
I ALWAYS: Get scared
I AM NOT: Short
I DANCE: Bad
I SING: Badder
I CRY: All the time
I AM NOT ALWAYS: Silly?
I WRITE: Whats on my mind
I WIN: Monopoly
I LOSE: At towel snapping
I CONFUSE: Myself
I NEED: Sleep and a hug
I SHOULD: Just talk to him...

Yes Or No...
x. You keep a diary: This one, and kinda another
x. You like to cook: Doens't matter if I like it, cause I shouldn't do it
x. You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: Of course
x. You believe in love: Sure

What is...?
Your most overused phrase on IM: LoL
The last image/thought you go to sleep with: Whatever is on my mind from the day
Inside joke: Just one? Um... this is old school but Drugs, Sex & Alochol baby!!! haha

Do You...?
Have a(any) crush(es): Yup
Want to get married: Someday
Get Emotion Sickness: Emotion sickness? Yeah sure...
Think you're a health freak: Nope, not a bit
Get along with your parents: Not really, no
Like thunderstorms: Not no, not Hell No, but FUCK NO!
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Dark Brown
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Dark Brown, yay
EYE COLOR: Brown with a teensy bit of green in 'em
BIRTHPLACE: Littleton, Colorado

(FAVORITES )
NUMBER: 28
COLOR: Blue
DAY: Saturday or Sunday
MONTH: July...all summer-y and gush
SONG: I have a lotta though, "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith is a goodie
FOOD: Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.. yummmm
SEASON: Summer
SPORT: Basketball! Haha.. jk.. I dunno
DRINK: Mike's... or Jamba Juice!!!

( PREFERENCES )
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?Hot Chocolate.. until it burns your tongue
MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? Milk
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? Depends

( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... )
CRIED? Yup... that what I get for trying to sneak out.
HELPED SOMEONE? Yup, at work anyway
BOUGHT SOMETHING? Yeah... alcohol that I didn't even get to drink :(
GOTTEN SICK? Nope
GONE TO THE MOVIES? Nope
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? Nope
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? Nope
WRITTEN A REAL LETT ER?Nope
TALKED TO AN EX? Yeah
MISSED AN EX? Definitely not
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? This one
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? Sorta...
MISSED SOMEONE? Yeah
HUGGED SOMEONE? Yeah
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? Yeah dude I was screaming at my mom this morning
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? Nope
Name 5 bands you listen to:
Dashboard, Jimmy Eat World, Hanson haha, Simple Plan, 3 Doors Down

Would You Ever~
1. Eat a bug? For money maybe
2. Bungee jump? Yeah I want to
3. Hang glide? Sure
4. Kill someone? Nah
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? Nah
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? Disgusting
8. Parachute from a plane? Sure
9. Walk on hot coals? Ouch
10. Go out with someone for their looks? Nah
11. For their reputation? Nah
12. Be a vegetarian? That'd be hard
13. Wear plaid with stripes? Yes. Damn, I'm a rebel?
14. IM a stranger: Do it all the time
15. Sing karaoke? Haha! me Kendra and Jennifer used to do that all the time. Hahahaha
16. Get drunk off your ass? Nope... never.
17. Shoplift? Nah
18. Run a red light? Not intentionally
19. Star in a porn video? Sick no
20. Dye your hair blue? Yeah, blue rocks
21. Be on Survivor? And die? I don't think so.
22. Wear makeup in public? No, never!
23. NOT wear makeup in public? Yeah sure
24. Cheat on a test? Haha yeah I cheated on one of Mr. Newsons and I STILL got a D
25. Make someone cry? Not on purpose
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? Not to their face
27. Kick a baby? OMG Thats so sad! No!
28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? And I thought 7 years was bad...
29. Cuss out a priest? No
30. Take a job as a janitor? Sure
----WHAT HAPPENED TO 31?!?!? YOU ATE IT, DIDN’T YOU?!?!
32. Stay up all through the night? Yup... but I really do like sleep ususally
33. Drink straight espresso? Gag! I hate coffee and such, yuck.
THE END!

I'm glad I always know just how to fuck things up. And damn... I fucked up this one good.

Its one of those moments where you don't want to cry, but you don't know what else to do.

I've never, EVER, expressed myself like I did that night. I've never said "Ok, heres the deal, heres what I think and this is what I want" to anyone before... especially not a boy... and especially not one that I've had such a history with. I don't know how and I don't know why but I did it. And where did that get me? The same place I started from. Just another girl. Just one of many. A couple months ago that would have bothered me. A couple months ago I would have driven myself crazy with the fact that I made that mistake yet again.

But now... the strange thing is, it doesn't phase me. I don't care about him the way I used to. I wish I did... not because theres anything there... but because it would at least make a hell of a lot more sense than what I'm feeling now.

I had a really long talk tonight with someone who, despite their big-headedness and sometimes assholeishness, I love talking to. He's stuck wanting someone who is halfway across the world... but at least he knows she wants him back and is thinking of him to. And as sucky as that situation sounds, knowing that she is thinking about him makes him ten times better off than I am... right next to someone who has no feelings for me whatsoever.

The funny thing is... I was so close. Or at least I thought I was. It was just waving around right in front of my face. And then the next thing I know... its gone. Its never felt like this... I've never felt so distant.

"Don't give up on lost causes... Because you never know when your luck will change" I think its time I had a change of luck.

Dude this weekend was sooo much fun!!! It sucks that I have to go back to school tomorrow, I never have to go back to school after my birthday!! Plus it just feels like summer already. Thursday night me and Chris had to work, and then when we got off us, Andrew, & Beth met Megan and Emilie up at Megan's cabin in Grand Lake. It was such a long drive but it was sooo much fun! We were all totally drunk playing drinking games, making smores and jumping in other peoples cold hot tubs. Then Friday me and Beth had to work and then after work me, her, Chris, and Andrew went swimming and got in Beth's hot tub, which was actually hot, and had a mellow night. Then Saturday was my birthday, yay! And since my parents were out of town a whole shitload of people came to my house. There were so many people it was fucking insane... I'm sooo surprised the cops didn't get called on us! Luckily there were grad parties and stuff down the street so I think that helped. It was so much fun though!! Then last night we went over to Andrew's house for a little bit, but then his mom came home, so we decided to go back to my house again. Oh man. That ended up being 3 times messier than the night before, with 3 times less people. Clint and Justin decided to play soccer with a can of paint in my basement. You do the math. Then someone had the brilliant idea that Clint should roll around in the paint, completely naked. Honestly one of the funniest things I had ever seen.... until he proceeded to jump- buttass naked and covered in purple paint- into my neighbors swimming pool. My house was such a mess after that, but it was so funny.... and luckily it didn't take much effort at all to clean up. It would have been twice as easy if I didn't have something fuckin' screwed up with my eye, ugh. But yeah... that was my weekend. I am SOOOO excited for this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!